at the end of month 1 of #ayearofslow, here are some things that have come up for me.
i enjoy space. physical space, yes. but space in my day. and i've noticed i'm not very good at it.
there are so many things i'd like to do - catch up with friends, go to the amsterdamse bos (the woods), watch some documentaries, read my favourite blogs, get through the stack of books i want to read, and some more mundane things around the house like clearing out my paperwork which i've been collecting for decades.
when i choose to opt out and say i'm slowing down this year, it is easy to see how much i try to pack in. how much i frankly push myself to be a great mother and teacher and daughter and friend and do "self-care". it's hard work to make yourself be a better person.
cycling to class one day i found myself pushing to go faster against the wind. i whispered "be like water", took a breath, and cycled on with less resistance. probably slower. but it didn't matter. i wasn't late.
there is enough time.
i grew up as a 'yes' person. i never wanted to turn anyone down. as my kids grow and i can nearly see them walking out of the house to live elsewhere, i realise that when i say yes to something, i'm often saying no to time with them. i don't want to miss these years saying "i have a phone call tonight".
working for yourself gives you flexibility and a whole lot of satisfaction. but the downside when you love your work is it tends to creep into nooks and crannies and all of a sudden you have forgotten to take a break, rest, and play.
it feels selfish. and yet it is helping me frame commitments.
and i've been able to say yes to two friends who need help. that feels good too.
there are too many areas to focus on where one could slow down. so i'm going to try to focus on one area for a month or two.
for january, the focus has been on sleep. i love sleep, can sleep any where, but can also survive on 4 or 5 hours if need be.
but really nothing is that urgent. and there are other ways to find quiet in my day than waiting til everyone is in bed.
it's not as easy as i thought to switch off at the end of the day. i've been trying to write down in my diary what time i went to bed and when i woke up, to keep me kind of accountable. i'm getting much more sleep. but i'm still often up tinkering in the early hours.
let's just say it's a work in progress. i may need more than a month or two to break this one!
there is an interesting intersection between #ayearofslow and my work. i'm loving my classes more that ever. and it's also fun to remind parents to slow down and smell the roses with their kids.
working with toddlers is great practise for going slow. they can move fast, but they like to explore slow too.
i'm loving the #yearofslow so far. I'm so curious for the next month now.